The (Sort of) Beginning

God often chooses ordinary people, to do ordinary things, with extraordinary love.

My hope for this blog was to start it pretty much as soon as I landed in Oregon. I wanted to have a place to put my adventures on that wasn’t social media, the place where privacy goes to die or a spot where just anyone could go and read what I had to say. So that took a while to decide on. Then life happens, as it typically does and plans quickly changed. What was once life turned to ashes, and a trip home to grieve what was lost became necessary. Then homesickness hit. What all the travel nurse websites warned so ardently about. I thought that I might be safe from it, I had quickly found a family that is so kind and had some family dinners with them, but they just didn’t fill the inevitable hole in my life that the family I had left just shy of 2,000 miles away had left. Facetimes left me a mess, usually crying, and missing what once used to be so close. To say that I wasn’t motivated to do anything was probably the understatement of the year.

So, that leaves me to start now. Somewhere in the middle. I think I’ve been in Oregon for about 9 weeks and will be here Lord-willing till March. Its not a hard date, as most of the plans I make last about 5 minutes before something changes, but its a goal to work towards. Not all has been dreary and sad since entering the lovely state of Oregon. I’ve made some friends, found a church that has grown and challenged me in ways that I hadn’t been for a long time (and I want to go to and enjoy going to, something else I had been missing). I bought a Tacoma, something I’ve talked about for quite some time, spent time with my dad in the PNW, saw some volcanos and did a stay at a resort by myself (which felt very adultish).

The main thing that I’ve noticed during this time here in Oregon is that I’ve had the time and motivation to be very intentional with Jesus. The first thing that I did at the church I started going to was to grab a book that they recommended, God On Mute. A book by Pete Greig that speaks to both the power and silence of prayer. One of the opening pages has a quote that was found on a wall in a basement in Germany where a Jew was thought to be hiding from the Gestapo.

I believe in the sun even when it isn’t shining

I believe in love even when I am alone

I believe in God even when He is silent

Now, I realize that I have nothing to complain about or even relate to on the scale of what this human being was feeling in this moment, but this poem was a stark reminder that although I feel like I am being left in the dark because I don’t have my typical community around me, Jesus is here. Even when I don’t “feel” Him, Jesus is here. When I am lonely and just want to give up and go home, Jesus is here. I am holding onto the hope that what I will learn about Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and what it means to delve into topics that aren’t often talked about because I am in a situation where I get asked hard questions, and ask myself hard questions, means that growth will come. A friend said it best, COMFORT IS THE ENEMY OF GROWTH. If you want to grow, you have to be uncomfortable. So I’m here for it. I am going to try and embrace every change, question, new experience and difficult situation with grace and an expectation that I WILL grow from it. I am expectant that what will come these next months in Oregon will only drive me to learn and gather experiences that push me deeper into a relationship with Christ, because I WILL pursue it. It’s not easy, but I am confident that it’s not supposed to be.

Mount Rainier National Park

Bad things about Salem, Oregon:

1. Far away from my family and my kids that aren’t my children but I claim them as mine.
2. COLD WEATHER.
3. It’s a little expensive, a meal for 2 costs about $40!
4. Oregon is a little more liberal than I am used to.
5. Did I mention it’s cold?

Good things about Salem, Oregon

1. It is SO pretty here.
2. MOUNTAINS (like real ones not the little hills we call mountains).
3. People dress chill, as in flannels, jeans, boots, socks and crocs (the goal is warmth not fashion).
4. Coffee, like on every single street corner. It’s the sweet tea of the PNW.
5. The ocean is so close (even though its cold, its so pretty!)

I realize that this post might be a little scattered, but honestly, so is my brain lately. That’s why I didn’t want to put this on social media. When I first got to Oregon I went on a hike by myself, it was 6 miles roundtrip and about a 1/2 mile from the summit I WAS STRUGGLING. I mean huffing and puffing and trying to push myself to get up the steepest part of the trail. An older couple was coming down and gave me that, “you poor out of shape person who is clearly not from Oregon” look, and I jokingly said, “Is it worth it?”. The older man stopped, looked right into my soul, and said, “It depends on how far you’re going.” I’m going all the way. I don’t want to do anything with half of what I could do it with. I want to look back and think to myself that in every area of life, I tried my hardest, even if the end result isn’t what I thought it would be.

So, I’ll end this very disorganized and probably grammarly inaccurate blog post here. Take from it what you may, the next one will probably be less of a cluster, but also maybe it won’t. Drop a comment if you can, I would love to hear the thoughts of whoever ends up reading this mess. Also, at the end I will probably put some pictures I’ve taken and didn’t use. Or maybe I won’t. Have a great week!!

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